My Mask

I wear a grin that's smooth and wide, A perfect mask I hide behind Each morning stitched with silent thread— No trace of all the tears I've shed Their wants, their needs, I memorize them all inside drifting in a cold dark hole They praise my calm, my gentle grace, Unseen, the panic I embrace A war behind my steady gaze, A fog that never clears or fades. I joke, I laugh, I play the part, With trembling hands and bleeding heart. They call me strong—if only knew The cost of what I'm going through Each breath I take, a silent scream, Each night I drown inside a dream. But still I show up, still I shine, And say, “I’m fine.” I have to lie Perfection’s blade is sharp and thin, It cuts me deeper from within. I crumble softly, none can tell— A quiet fall, living in hell I wont be here someday, but I tried in every way. To be the peace, the guide, the light— While losing every single fight