My 💔 Hurts

Sitting n my car watching the rain. It was so damn hot today. So hot that no one wanted to come out & play. Everyone said maybe another day. Still sitting here pondering my life. I been married 4 times. Never made a good wife. My one & only son does not speak to me. I've begged & pleaded down on my knees. But he won't budge even a little bit. He needs to know what it has done to me. I'm left out in the cold being homeless with nowhere to go. I've asked nicely & said pretty please. It didn't help me even asking on my knees. How long do I need to pay? How much more can I express or say. I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart today. All this being ignored has torn me all apart. His dad don't help the situation. He talks down about me on every occasion. But it's not normal that a son doesn't even acknowledge his own mother. Was I so bad or is it something else I've not discovered? Son I just want to tell u that I love u. I'm so proud of everything u do. I wish I could go back & change my ways. Let me be n your life each & every day. If only you'd listen to what I have to say. I long to be near u & have a relationship with u. My heart hurts son for all it's worth. I'll listen to u & not interrupt. TBC