my everything

you look at me, with those glassy, loving eyes. and i wonder, how i can be loved. as you are so beautiful. as i am so pityful. can you see, really see me? i cry. as noone ever seemed to have done so. as noone ever cared enough to try so. and as you hug me and embrace me with your warm body, i sob. and i ask myself if i've ever shown you how much i love you. because i do, i really do love you so much. and i am so afraid of messing up. and hurting you. as i've done so often. and i try and try to fix up my mistakes, to fix me. so i can be good for you. as i need to be. or else, or else. you will leave me. and i can't breathe, i need you so much. and your arms get tighter around my back. i am afraid and devastated. what would i do without you? can i even be? and i would hope i am enough for you, but i can never be enough. as you are my everything. as i am failing you.