my demons .. escape

what is it called to live half a life and throw the rest away ?? ... latley my demons have been acting soo ravenous... the mond I opemy eyes for the day they begin there piercing whales. there tormented scratching on these walls In my mind . pure agony is there existence . and I feel there pain ... constantly trapped n a world built to cage them... they scream for escape ..escape for the fait I have put us in .or is this what they have always wanted for me .? finally the damn floods and they can break free Into a world of decay.. a world lacking of humanity ... I can imagine they would be such an amazing site to behold . as the walls tumble down around my fragile mind ..they would reach thru a life ...a life.. I had given up on ..an pull themselves up and into the light ...I feel pity for any one that steps upon them .for they will uilimately breath out my failures and shame .and inhaling all guilt and loneliness in one single sitting..the. toxity level will b beyond anY other radiation burning .. ever felt in one place .the level of torment will be ur demise ..and I will watch as u witler down into nothing .ur spirit drained.knowing no possible .. escape from this angish. this pain... this ending..