My Clown.

I guess you never knew that all the words that came forth from your mouth always made me laugh. I mean you were so funny and everything came out as a joke to me. I just did not know how you did that effortlessly. I mean putting me through pain and making me laugh at the same time. How were you so good in seriously joking around with me? I used to wonder if all the "I love you", "I miss you", "I would be there for you", "I would fight for you and all the sweet words you said to me were only jokes even though I still believed you. I was tired of laughing out pains but I thought laughing at your jokes would ease my hurts, yet the more you hurt me the more you tickled my fancy and the more deeply I loved you. I couldn't just let go of you. I wanted out deeply but I couldn't bring myself to say it. Then you said it for me and to me. It was the funniest joke you've ever cracked. I can remember how hard I laughed. It took me time to accept that you were very much not joking. For the first time in a long time your words were true and solid. I'm grateful for the day you asked me to leave you because I wouldn't have left you if you didn't ask me to. Perhaps I was the coward and you were the clown. @Wordsella.