"MUTUAL HATRED"

Being suffocated and strangled isn't as hard as it sounds.  Looking someone in the eye and seeing what you've seen in the mirror for years is kind of soothing. It's a mutual hatred for me. I barely try to fight back. Arms flail Hands attempt to scratch. I almost laugh Because I shouldn't have bitten my nails today. Veins bulge in my forehead. Tears blur my vision, my nose weeps with me  My tongue begins to swell, and I can taste my disgusting saliva building up. I must have bad hand-to-lung coordination because I can't even catch my breath. I can feel my heart angrily punching the inside of my chest. And my mind- it's dancing naked and wild in a meadow with the love of my life. My face is beet red. I know it I can see it in their eyes, my horrible visage. How can they stand it? I'm the first brick under tons of other ones desperately trying to shake loose. Finally, my body agrees to what my mind has settled on years before. You see, they killed me but I'm to blame.