Muted

I'm muted. I can't unmute myself The words are heavy on my chest yet i can't let them escape my body becaouse I don't trust myself. I've never trusted myself with words. I was never good with words so i just stayed silent. muted. My thoughts can't escape my body I want to say something, anything but i can't. I didn't say anything to you when we sat next to each other I didn't say anything when you tried to make a conversation I didn't say anything when i finaly saw you after waiting for you to come back for so long even tho i wanted to say so much, i wanted to tell you how much i loved you I wanted to tell you how much i missed you I wanted to tell you that i care. Yet i said nothing. I didn't say anything. And i hate myself for it. It's my fault. I dont even know if you like me anymore. Do you hate me? Becaouse i do. I hate myself for staying muted, when i wanted to say so much.