murderous thoughts

starting the day with a jovial mood smiles and laughters makes it feel good All I want is to appear bloom Thoughts of my life linger in me A change on my face when everything seems mean Hunger disappears as I lose appetite to even eat Struck by a feeling with no explanation starting to feel low as it makes it hard for me to move on Urging my heart to keep holding on Reaching a point I can't keep it for long Letting it out as tears start to flow The weight on my chest makes it hurt even more What is this feeling? As to me I find it killing Should I call it depression Or even anxiety for it is unknown!