momentary flowers

I inhabit a gray world. Gray, flat, empty, lifeless. I haven't seen a colorful bouquet for years. Individual flowers are given to me that bring color to my life. They brighten the room, they bring life. Always individually. Colorful flowers. Momentary. They last for minutes of life. And back to the completely gray world. Every day I see less light, the gray turns to black. The less light, the less lucidity. I don't want to let myself fall. I mustn't let myself go. I need a window to the outside: natural light, colorful flowers, and air. I need to breathe, and stop thinking.