midnight thoughts

Has there ever been a time when you wanted to scream, shout or just spill all your thoughts to the one person you so deeply cherished but couldn't? Cause of your mind going numb the moment you want to open up or your throat closes up and it feels like you're being suffocated by the air itself? Or do you just cry instead of saying what's been on your mind for the past God knows how long. Cause I sure have, more times than I can count. The amount of times I wanted to tell my girlfriend why was the way I was, why I had sudden moments of inflicting pain upon myself but I couldn't cause my mind and mouth were not working when I needed them to work. I truly cherish and love my girl but God I sometimes wish she'd just find someone better who isn't as broken as me or as mentally unstable as me, she is a goddess and I don't care how many times she denies it cause I mean it when I say she is something straight out of something only the Greek mythology geeks would know. I'm no exception, I adore Greek mythology and it's endless lore and I mean it when I say she is like the stars and the cosmos above, just wish I could live up to her and be the best partner I can for her sake. Cause I'd rather die trying than be anywhere near like her exes, never again shall she fear love or validity ever in her life.