loved

I want to be loved. not the normal kind of loved. I want something messy something cruel and brutal. I want to spend days and nights sobbing screaming shaking all because I am loved. I want to feel it under my skin I want it to take over my head I want it to drive me crazy I want to be drowned with it with love I want to feel an apocalypse I am a zombie and love is a brain I want it. I need it. I ache for it. sometimes I would wish for a cure that I could stop being a zombie that the brain would go away but I know deep down I will never stop the yearning I will never stop the hunger the desire the longing the craving please I want to be okay no I want to be loved.