Love Myself

I've heard I need to love myself, and don't be quick to show my heart. But what exactly does that mean,and where would I even start. Because love has left me torn apart, but I got back up and loved again. My heart's endured a lot of loss, still hopeful that one day we will win. I admire its positivity, even through my misery. It's determined to be loved the same regardless of our history. I'm not so optimistic though, my mind is still really skeptical. I had to learn to guard my feelings, so my heart's not so accessible.. I craved to be loved, more than my desire to be alive. It's like I'm anxiously waiting for a miracle, that's never going to arrive. My depression takes a dive, how can I possibly love myself?. I gave it all I had, but couldn't even get love from someone else. So loving myself gets detrimental, and the effort is depleting. It becomes an issue when my heart and mind begin competing. I use to notice my imperfections when I stared at my reflection. How do I love myself when inside I feel rejection. What's to love about myself, all my life I've been a wild child. I barely even like myself, I don't know how I'll reconcile