lost soul

do you know the feeling where you don't know the end and the beggining its like being drowned in water not knowing how to swim its like the water is drowning your feelings Inside and the water is swimming your thoughts away and you your just there blank in the mind feeling stupid about the dicisions you made in the past that how feeling lost feels like that how being a lost soul feels like lost in the ralem of delusion and paradise but as reality hits the paradise crumbles there is no happy ending its just work work work till you die it starts with study hard to make a good future for your self then goes to getting married then goes to working day and night day as a mother and night as a worker then it goes to raising your children with discipline then it goes to helping them grow and now they are walking in your steps you walked life goes and goes and goes on study ,work ,support ,you have to provide everything and get nothing in return and sometimes you may wonder what if I was a confident girl maybe then I would've followed my dream maybe then I could've stepped out of line of this path every one takes and be just me ridicolus funny me emotional and goofy me