Lost my mind

My emotions are twisted, like I have two different sides.. My bipolar depression becomes harder to hide... For the moment I'm calm, no sinking down in this boat... Then all the sudden it's gone, stuck in the rain with no coat... I prefer to be quiet, and keep it all in my head... Sometimes I wanna forgive, but still picture them dead... Somedays I could care less, or let my anger erupt... Sick and tired of losing, in a world so corrupt.. I let it drive me insane, you watched it tear me apart... But in silence I moved, cus I have to be smart... Some nights I have hope that the darkness won't consume me... Even if I don't see the light, or the greatness running through me... I'm not sure I believe I have potential to win, I no longer see the best in me.... I was praying for help, still nobody rescuing me... I searched for answers, only to find a deeper question... We're all created equal,I'm a perfect imperfection... My misery don't want company,in silence I'll pay the toll... A smile and a happy heart, can burn a hole in a miserable soul.. Might call me crazy, but that humbleness has long died...  I use to wish on a star, whole time I had one inside...