Lost

Lost in thoughts, lost in directions, lost in the present— stuck in my own head while they’re laughing, smiling from ear to ear, and I’m sitting in the back, not knowing where the right place is or where I’ll finally belong. Sometimes, I don’t want to admit that I might be a failure— a loser who can’t even answer a simple question the teacher asks. I don’t know if I’m truly a failure at all, or maybe a winner, a warrior who forgot how to fight. A warrior with no weapons left. A warrior losing every battle inside herself, and still, I want to become the best version of myself. I don’t want to amplify the situation, but a doctor might say I’m diagnosed with depression, even though I feel it’s just a lack of connection. And still, I don’t know how to react when life puts me in these positions.