Live Happily

I'm lost in this world with no direction, wondering where they may have gone. I just wish they would show some affection, it has been so long. Why must I lay here, wondering, in my bed hoping to slumber. Not sleeping, just pondering, Thoughts like a burning ember. It's my fault they have fled me so I faltered from what I planned. Now I must suffer from my own throes For they will only reprimand. I try my best to make them happy, Adhering to thier every will. Yet they still call me sloppy. A mess that needs pills. They give and take memories. Denying and reinstating back and forth All these bruises that others never see, they remind of what I lack to them, worth The past, muddled, haunts my dreams. The past full of blood relation assault, almost like they were machines. Claiming machines can't be the fault. I'm at my knees begging for peace but they refuse to relent they give me thier love to lease But I'm done with love for rent "Love me for me!" I plead with teary eyes "Bend and break," they threaten with ease "Bend or be broke," they continue to pry. It is painful now to be one to appease Stay, and be drained of life, or leave, and lose a family? This decision causes me strife but I want to live happily.