life or the lack thereof

I walk to her through perishing grass I've been walking for years Each time I go to hold her hand I step back Why do I step back? It's all I've ever longed for Why should I step forward? What reason to let her take my soul and body is so persuasive? She's been smiling at me since I was a child I admired her and her breathtaking beauty Her omniscient eyes Her cruel yet fair heart I sometimes wonder that if I finally embraced her Would I feel some sort of closure? Comfort? Would it be worth it?