life hates me

maybe she will see I'm sad And maybe she would ask me And maybe she would care And maybe she would talk with me And maybe she will comfort me And maybe she will help me And maybe she will report on me And maybe she would kill me And maybe i would kill myself before she can And maybe my parents will be sad and maybe not And maybe my firends would come to my funeral but some for sure won't And maybe my uncle would cry for the first time when he'll hear that I'm gone And maybe i'll hang out with ghosts that way I'll finally won't be alone And maybe someone would wake me up from this nightmare and fight with my demons for me instead of letting me drown again And why does nothing make sense? And why don't i recognize my room? And why does my mom suddenly look like a stranger? And why do i not know who i am anymore? And why does life keep sending me signs to die? And why me? Why the fuck is it me? Why me? Did they have to choose me? What did i survive for? Is it really worth it? What is going on? I don't know where my body went, did you see it? Did you also want to vomit when you did? And why the fuck am i fighting so hard if it's just for me to end up crying myself to sleep again, waiting for this loop to end.