letting go

I wish my older sister could see me now, she's left me though I wish my older brother could see how much I try to be in his life, but he's too busy trying to be alone I wish my mother could see how much her words effect me, but she thinks so badly of herself already I wish my father was better, I wish I didn't have to beg for his love, but he's never going to care the way I did before he left I wish I could go back and tell my younger self it would get better, even if I knew it wouldn't. I can't let go of the past, I can't let go of the future. I wish my loved ones knew I loved them too. but I'm in too much pain to say it so soon. I miss the way my life was years ago. when all my worries flew away like flies through an open window. im sorry for the past and I can't tell the future, but maybe if we stick together the newer pains won't be as bad as they were when it felt like we didn't have anyone.