Letter to my young self

My dear sunshine, I will keep my promise, I will keep getting out of bed to feed my kitty, I will keep eating my two eggs and coffee, I will keep washing my face while I see water dripping from my eyes and only realize later that it wasn't from the tap, I will keep dressing myself with my long sleeves because of some panic I had last night, I will keep going to school and look away from my favorite teachers because I know they know what is going through my celestial thoughts, I will keep saying it's fine to my friends even they know it is not, I will keep having lunch with my mom and eating without feeling hungry, I will keep studying but more hours than I should because great grades are the only thing I can have sometimes, I will take a bath and sometimes feel like my skin burns but is not because of the water temperature, I will talk to my mom and keep hiding from her that things are getting worse again, I will sleep late because I am just staring at the dark with the constant heaviness of being my own burden for the rest of my life. You might not be proud of you right now but you should know that I do, I will forever. I miss you really much, from your future self.