kill Bill pt.1

Part of me misses you. And I give up. I don't know what to do... I'm bleeding, love. Last time you came to save me but what if this time I am really cursed.? I hate who I became. I'm slandering all of their names to the mud. But all because I wanted you. I see sirens in my head. All because I wanted you. I'm crying red. All because I wanted you. I hate how cringy this sounds. But I miss you once again. Man...will my love ever end for you?? Am I just stuck here forever in the waiting room?? Just for YOU?? I'm tired. There's nobody actually by my side. They just sit here and watch me cry while I'm slowly dying inside. And what do you do?? You just walk away. Typical for you. Not knowing what to say.  Because you tell yourself EVERYDAY. "it's not my fault.." you say in your head just about every time that I talk to you. You've convinced yourself, so here you are convincing somebody else again. But will this ever come to an end- "I DONT CARE!!! I DON'T CARE!!! I DON'T CARE" I shout at myself who's currently crying on the bathroom floor knowing you are out there replacing me....why do I search for "much more" n you?? When the door wasn't even open wide enough for both of us to walk through.