Just tell me. pt1

I wanted to call you handsome today but I had to remind myself that is no longer appropriate for me to say I haven't yet figured out how to speak to you in a friendly way but I'll get used to it because it's for you so its okay you told me to erase the loving memories of us from my mind how am I supposed to do that when you said all you needed was a little bit of time and if you need some time I'm more than willing to give you that but don't use it as an excuse to step on me like I'm a fucking doormat if you're worried about hurting me or ruining my soul trust me, it's long gone so fixing it was never my goal when I look into your eyes I see the pain but when you look into mine what do you see, if not the same in case I haven't made you completely aware just take a closer look and you'll definitely see it's in there I'm not asking you to love me I'm asking you to give us a fighting chance instead of just wondering what's in every girls pants but if you don't want us to happen at least tell me so I can take a step back because I can't take your actions as a sign I'm not gonna keep letting you put my heart under attack and if we don't end up together then yeah it'll suck ......