just once

I want to know how it feels "Just once" what's the worst that can happen, it heals The tan turns to red The sliver is now tinted I sat there and watched as I bled "Bad idea" my brain hinted "It will only be once" I thought However, that proved to be a lie The urges grew stronger, but I fought Until I didn't, and gave in yet again with a sigh Cherry, maroon, red apple, all shades of red But none as pretty as the one I created The satisfaction in watching the way I bled Something I loved, due to someone I hated But it helped me forget the things I desperately didn't want to remember It protected me when I felt upset Only for the cost of my skin, which I was willing to surrender "Just this once" A statement that was so naive "Just this once" But now I have to wear a long sleeve