just lately

sometimes I sit down .. with my legs crossed on the side of my bed ... I reach over to turn on my strereo🎧🎶🎼 ,... becuase if I can't releaae the pain and anguish some way... I'm gonna end up going insane .. everyday is the same for me .... music ... eat... music .. shower .. music... eat.. shit... all while I listen to music 🎼🎶... u feel me ..? lately even if the stereo isn't playing I can still hear my jam.... lately shits been really bad...lately shit just seems like it's getting worse... I know in my heart where my love move lies ..but it's honestly YOUR ACtions and how u do things that ultimately tell me how u really see me ..us.. ... just recently .just.. lately . I can't get high enough to combate .. our pain .yeah OURS... cuz...ohh..yeah I been carrying your demons around to lately . your around sure ... but where are u . really ...? cuz ur not you .. ur just a crystal monster ... from my once upon a time life where also 2 was dying inside... and yes!!. I actually watched them mine .. dragging ..thread with Bells tyed to them from out fromunder my bed and the darkest areas of my house... my mind .. really ... haha... quietly oh so quietly ... the drag... me down to nothingness.