I've lost

I've lost myself I given everything to you to my mother to my father to my siblings Now I have nothing each penny went to her every warmth went to him every heart beat to you and what was lest was sucked out by them I just want to die I sit empty and numb even if I Lough It doesn't reach my heart even if I cry it doesn't really help I work, day in and day out and it's never enough I'm just lost but I don't have much left anyway so I'll just wait I'll smile I'll pretend I'm okay I'll pretend I have never been better and I'll just wait what's a month when I've been waiting all my life hoping I'll die