" Its so loud in my head "

I overthrow myself with overthinking, I make a mess of myself & of the things I apply myself too . . I overthink everything I do. I see the past repeat itself, my past repeats in thoughts & flashes of times I wish to forget or times I can't tell if I lighten it to lessen the blow. Times I wish I didn't give it a third or a fifth thought, I tend to sit with it & wonder if I think out loud.