IT SUCKS TO GROW OLD

Am turning 25 in the next few months, hunted by 30 year old self. I had a vision at 18,but I lost a Sense of sight.Now am embarrassed with my own birthdays. Am I not suppose to be independent at 27?,I feel like a burden to my poor self and others. My teen self is laughing at me for not preparing for this moment. I wish I can take me back to when I was a kid just to fix me. I have kept hope for so long,which manifest in to delayed disappointment eventually. This is the present I once called future,which felt like a delusional. If there are any more future left, please send them to my present. Pass me a time machine to take me back when I was 18,so I can prepare for this moment. Maybe an 18 year old should.