Is this what it feels like

This is what it feels like Trapped yet free My body aching and head spinning I feel like dying, but what I do next is lay here in this bed to fall asleep and wake again. So this is what it feels like To smile and be dead inside Can't leave and can't stay I won't let me get away I'm pulling and ripping like tug-of-war My sanity and guts Skin so tight I want to escape Escape what? I can't leave. I have a person A tiny one with a lions roar One I see in the mirror Same nose, same eyes, same skin, same smile, same everything I haven't seen in me in a while. What is it I need? What is it I need to escape? Running from me or just running It keeps going like days and nights and drips from the sink and the emptiness around me. Just blink A heavy one you can cave into like falling asleep Easy to slip, fall in abyss What I'm designed and trapped to do. This is what it feels like to live my life?