internal sabotage

I know I'm getting worse because I stop writing; I stop writing because I'm getting worse. I don't have anything negative to get out and put on paper, because I deny my mind the ability to feel and release the emotions that try to attack me. I prefer to ignore them and let them block me again, for the time being. The block always ends up exploding, and it spills out all around me. It affects those I love, all because I don't want to take care of myself.