Internal knot

Sometimes I feel that inner knot that I endure every day and it is written in my calendar I can't see it from afar but you can feel it inside it's at home at the moment that I don't say what I feel. But if I were to say what I feel it would change something in this lament how do I know if I'll still be able ask for forgiveness even though I never said goodbye For my mistakes you suffered I saw when you left but there's one thing I never said is that I regret what I did and the forgiveness I never said