insomniac

I stay awake for hours at night 9:00 pm watching 11:56 pm waiting finding things to keep myself busy focusing on the details of the night 2:34 am wait watching 2:58 am thinking I keep myself busy; distracted from what? who knows. 3:34 am I get up and wonder the house I act as if I'm just getting water and take a seat to watch the sky by the window before returning to my grave 3:59:57 am 3:59:58 am 359:59 am 4:00:00 am I pass out from exhaustion just to live through another day and do it again. and again and again.