inner child

My child is mad. Ohh no, not the one I birthed. But she's hell mad. Furious that love she never received loudly. It wasn't vocal. She thrives to be heard but her words fall on rather ears too deaf. Neglect she fears. When other kids were being pampered, she remained unseen. You're so full of anger, they told her repeatedly. Told me I was too emotional. So she never saw the holes she bore into my soul. My mother she. One hard hearted woman. She believes in strong but how am I strong on the outside if am trembling terribly inside. Woman get up and fix your mess. Get up and show some to this infant. The child you stoned bled. Now she sheds everyone red for something you did. My inner child she. Scared she fails to think straight she, always wondering if she's at fault, She. Don't know how to move anymore. ... The scars she carries. You poured your pain on her, yet she let you take the lead, Mom!!!!! You're the parent!!!!! Look at this woman I've turned!!! A self tainted image!. If it was up to me I'd paint the doves and let them fly away with my pain. ....................... Nessa Maraj.