In the past

They say the past holds the darkest secrets and the sweetest sorrows.. In my past.. I was broken.. torn to shreds and built back up again.. in the past.. the cycle repeated on and on.. in the past.. I reveled in your depart.. in the past.. I grew.. I learned all good things come to an end.. in the past.. I learned to make way for the future.. you were my future.. but you were also a part of my past.. a part that broke me and built me up again.. in the past.. I love you.. now I hate myself.. not even that.. but I hate the pieces you've broken within me.. the pieces I'll never get back.. the pieces I'll never get to fix or experience ever again.. and the thing that hurts is.. I STILL.. love you so much, that I hate you in my present.. you've ruined my past.. you've ruined.. me..