In the middle of crossing

I'm a loner an actual loner not the TikTok one You know the farm produced saturated one that draws in aura falser and flakier than it's own Throw a dog a bone Not this one Leave me alone I never knew such joy around others Yet I knew them all so well I was always a mystery to them Cold, Fearless and strong beyond decades Only kind and gentle when necessary Cold for never pretend laughing myself into a conversation that should have ended at the thought of it beginning In the end me not knowing no fear of those in a 'better' place cost a lot and earned a lot of lesser known lessons The others could never figure that out Strong decades ahead they didn't know it but the reason I never got into any trouble was because I studied them , myself, their mistakes, mine and rectified them before they could happen again and used the left over patches to hold the next tsunami back with a single look Because a slip from me even in slimy , muddy and snake filled waters but would mean the night out ending in tragedy So now the world has blessed me with the beauty of myself rid of unsaid guilt Free of tiny evils that are tolerated under the shaky guise of ' tribulations of friendships' I'll take care now.