In denial

I told you that I will never get over you. but I want to get over you, but I can't. it's like trying to pick up a boulder that's 10 man, my size and it's heavy and it hurts every time.and every single weekend I dream about you and it doesn't help at all. I tell you every single time I don't like you,but I still do. I don't think I will ever get over you. the only thing they are right about is that a girl will never get over her first time especially the one they never dated. when I try to get over you I still run back to you . they say you're worse than me but they don't know the real you like I do and what you do is not you. they say over and over again you were them but I can't pick them over you and I did what they told me to do but it hurts and I don't know why Mom still talks about every now and then wondering why I still dream about you little do you know I wonder the same thing I tell my friends and they say why you I can't have anyone but all I do is make up a story that's not even true I can give 10 reasons why it's you so what do I do