I'm torn re-build

Lord, I am reaching to you in this time of struggle, pain , & lows. I will push myself to become healthier. Lord, I am conflicted. Pessimistic. I have to say I don't know what to do but I know what has to be done in order to see results but I'm worried that he is regretting staying. Lord, you see what I am doing with your help. I'm utilizing them. I am saddened. I want him to see that I am working towards good.