I'm tired

I am tired. I am tired of life life itself. not the way u think my self expectations have been ruined. and ruined and ruined. i am annoyed with myslef.for not loving everyone easle. I see myslef in a way u don't. I don't like what I see but you will never know. I am to far gone to restore what was once there when happiness has faded. with the emotional tiredness I get drains me it's a self problem not urs I keep the smile people like. faking faking faking saying a word I use as a shield. "I'm fine". but it's all fake but I'm not fine I'm tired of myslef. I don't see my self thay way u would I wish I did I blame myslef for not opening my eyes to see what u see blame blame blame. why can't I be happy like the rest. why do I feel empty empty as a black hole. sucking my harts feelings away. into a void that's endlessly draining me away I am tired at the end of the day. can't u see. I am wasting away can u save me. or is it to much to say