I'm stuck

Guilt tripping myself, crying alone in a room after everyone has left. Degrading my abilities can't see the positives for dwelling on the negativity. Having moments of instability. Trying to rise above the thoughts but submerging immediately. Never on task, because I can't seem to keep my feet underneath me. I'm sinking. Finally got myself out of apologizing for ish I didn't do. Decided to itemize my receipts and throw out the things I no longer need to use. I need to heal myself, better my spirit and restore my soul. Not getting any younger and still haven't figured out how to adjust my mentality of all the hurts I felt from days old.