I'm okay

You always ask me how I'm am. I'm okay. I'm actually better than okay. I'm good. I'm actually happy right now because everything's okay. But my mind always wanders off. And I end up thinking of you. And suddenly my whole mood changes. My body begins to ache. I think I've just been numbing myself so I would forget about you. So I wouldnt have to miss you. To feel that pain. I wonder how long I will have to keep numbing myself before Im able to forget about you. I wonder how much longer it will hurt when I don't. I wonder when, if I ever will be able to think about you without it hurting. So I can feel happy when I think about you. Happy of the memories we had together. Not sad that we're not together. I wonder if you feel this way too. I also wonder if you ever really do heal from loosing someone.