I'm not lazy...

TRYING TO GET CLOSE BUT MOVING FAR FAR AWAY GETTING IGNORED BUT STILL TRYING TO SPEAK THE NEXT DAY MAKING MYSELF HAPPY WITH MY IMAGINATION NOT KNOWING IT'S A MENTAL SICKNESS TRYING TO DO THE THINGS I LOVED BUT REALIZING THAT I DON'T LOVE THEM ANYMORE PUTTING EFFORTS IN STUDIES BUT BRAIN AND HEART DOESN'T CO-OPERATE RREALIZING NO ONE IS FOREVER BUT CANT ACCEPT IT TRYING TO SHOW MYSELF SOME LOVE BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE WANTING TO KILL MYSELF BUT KNOWS DEATH IS NOT A SOLUTION ALL THESE ARE NOT REASONS BUT IT'S REALLY WHAT I FEEL I HAVE VERY LITTLE ENERGY IN ME AND IM USING IT TO SURVIVE, SO DON'T CALL ME LAZY