I'm not hurt I'm broken 😭

I can't scratch the itch in my heart. My feelings have no direction or a place to start. So every single second I get to cry,I use. Knowing that I'm always second, nobody's muse. I watch in the distance as I get ready to smile. The design is my smile to avoid the emotional pile. But yeah I've already adapted to this feeling. It is crazy and actually extra none appealing. I'm never seen as the person who matters. Nobody cares that I'm full of shutters. I mean after all I am the third wheel. But what I write is not even half of what I feel.