I'm here, right?

"hey!" I say to a friend. "do you want to hangout after school?" I say. My mind starts to wander, about how am I here or not. Like, did she hear me or did she not? Am I getting ignored? Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Am I in the wrong? Am I here? Am I voiceless? Am I invisible? Is me not being here, good? Am I gone for the good? Am I for the bad? I'm not here, am I?