I'm crying again

TW: self harm and suicide I'm crying again. I'm not sad though, not really I'm nothing anymore, just a shell of what was An abyss of numb and dark I'm alone again. Though I'm not alone at all I'm surrounded by those who care, but I'm isolated in thoughts Thoughts that mean nothing and everything I'm hurting myself again. Desperate to feel anything Red tears run down my arms like they are upset but I don't mind because sadness is better than emptiness Each moment of pain is bliss I'm thinking too much again. About how? And where? And when? Where should my final resting place be? How would I do it? When would I do it? Could this really be the end?