I'm breaking 😩😩

hello is there anyone who still listens out there cause I'll be in my head talking to myself. I'll be lying to myself in my mind getting crushes jealous and at the end of the day they are not. I'll be wondering when I'll ever get love and how I would feel when I love someone who loves me back. I'll be acting like I'm all cool when at the end of everyday I come home and cry. they tell me I don't need friends , I need books but I'm dying inside with no one to tell. he told me that our friendship would last forever but it never did and that made me all crazy all obsessed . they said I talked too much and when I went quiet they asked me if I was sick but I wasn't sick something was not right but no one paid attention because people pay attention to the people they love not me. they asked for the results of the hard work they never supported but that they discouraged telling me a daughter without a father is useless as if I wanted him to die. I have a lot to say but limited space and limited words and it's breaking me everyday