I'm better.

"i'm better" I repeat to myself in the cold shadows of my room "I'm better" i rock back and forth knees to my chest "Nothing is wrong with me anymore" I know it isn't true but I must try to believe it and make other people believe it truth is the darkness claws at my insides every waking moment of every single day most days it's just too strong I have to let it take over some days i'm able to put it back deep inside until it regains strength And the cycle repeats the medicine keeps a smile on my face it doesn't fix me it fixes my appearance it doesn't make me happy it makes me empty I am a lifeless body there is nothing left of me there's nothing left of my soul or my mind but I'm fine I'm great I've never been better at least this is better than I was, right? Right? The darkness will forever have it's hold on me but I'm fine I'm better