im a mess

I wake up in the middle of the night crying without having a clue why maybe its worryness or maybe its stress so I play music just to calm me down but yet im a mess during the day im fine until a specific time well not specific mostly random but at that moment everything feels off and im just there feeling frozen but yet im a mess when im irritated I usually keep it in cuz if I were to speak I wouldnt know where to begin or to end but yet im still a mess you see its a pattern the more i do something the more mistakes I make and the more I try to make it right people will never see past it its crazy cuz people will never see your achievements they only tune in for the moments you trip and the tightrope you walked when you lost your grip but the trophy isn't the applause from the crowd or the quiet nods from a world looking away its the silent battles that made you proud and the strength you found to survive the day let them miss the climb while they watch the fall your worth isn't weighted in their shallow veiw they'll notice the shadow but miss the spark they'll count your mistakes but miss your scars but you dont need a crowd to know you grew therefore your loudest victories are worth more.