If you Told me Then

Because if you had told me in that moment Home alone in my parents bathroom cleaning Staring at my that closet door between me and a gun. If you told me then that if the garage hadn't announced their coming home I might not be alive today If you told me that years later I would remember that moment so vividly Remember how long I stared at that closet door thinking of just how easy it would be to- If you told me that in that moment I was closer to death than any other time I've choked or tripped or nearly walked into traffic I wouldn't have believed. Wouldn't have believed that I *was* one of those kids they warned everyone about in those pep-ralley's. That it wasn't just a small intrusive thought that popped up occasionally. That I was no different from the girl everyone kept talking about for foing to a mental ward. And deep down I think I knew that but never let myself think it long enough to truly realize. Never would have believed that when I left that bathroom God gave me a second chance.