If I let Go

If I let go who will I become? There's no pity for the sick, for the abandoned, for people too far gone. It's either a noose around my neck or numbness induced by drugs, how else does one escape the suffering? When the pain is too much and no one to listen. I fold in on myself and pretend it's not happening. Pretend it's not my life, not my story. This is someone else. I'm jus watching. If I let go and plunge into my darkness. Will the days be easier? Will I stop caring? I wonder what awaits people who end it? Take their remaining courage and pour it into the fire. let it burn let it all go. Is there salvation or oblivion? Will there be someone to put a hand on my shoulder and say, "You've done well, rest now."? Or will there be nothing? Is the fear of unknown so great that I stay where I am and yet it hasn't ended. This pain, my constant companion, his friend misery and thier lovers sadness and grief. Will life be easier if I went insane or ceased to exist?