If I Had Nine Lives

if i had nine lives i would apend the first one going and adventuring everywhere and anywhere. my second life would be trying new jobs. my third life would be trying new sports and skills. my fourth life would be trying all kinds of foods. my fifth life would be spent with my family. my sixth life would be spent with my friends. my seventh life would be finding a love of my life. my eighth life would be having a family. my nine life would be spent like if i was a normal human. but i dont have nine lives. i never will. i would like to. but i cant. so, my one and only life is spent miserably. sad. scared. anything. its to the point id like to rip my skin into pieces that are as big as pebbles. yes, that would hurt but at least i would feel something. anything. and its not like i liked my body anyway. i look in the mirror and turn to the side frowning in disappointment. disbelief. i hate my body. my skin. my weight. my personality. i hate everything ablout me. i wann arip, and tear, and cut, and burn till i bleed to death. i wish... i had nine lives.