I wish you would be a father

You were supposed to be my dad, But drugs are more important for some reason. I wait for you to love me even tho you won't, And keep the poetic structure free. I long for your presence, your guidance, But you choose the high over me. I smile through the tears, hoping for change, But deep down, I know it's not meant to be. I try to understand your demons, But it's hard when they take you away. I hold onto memories of a father, Who was once there for me every day. I wish you could see the pain you cause, And choose me over the drugs. But until that day comes, I'll keep waiting, Hoping for a love that never shrugs.